What is Right & Wrong for a Mentor?

           

Your arrogant attitude can lead a young person the wrong way.

        When I lived in the suburbs my idea of right and wrong is different than it is now. I looked at folks in the city and wondered: "What's the matter with these people? Don't they know right from wrong? Why do they kill, steal and destroy each other?" I had a "mightier than thou" attitude. I was arrogant, judgmental, and haughty. I thought that the version of right and wrong in my brain was the only acceptable version. Then I moved into the city and experienced the "Hood version of right and wrong.
           The young girl who was about 12 years old came into the Youth Center with tears in her eyes. She was crying and afraid. She told me that a gang was after her brother and wanted to kill him. She said that a gang member told her:

"We are going to kill your brother so don't get in the way. When he gets out of jail, we will come into your house and shoot anybody who gets in the way. We will shoot you, your mom, baby brother or anybody else who gets in the way."

I knew that she was telling the truth and that this was a real possibility based on the current events including dead young people in our neighborhood. I knew her brother carried a gun when he was on the streets. I always told the young men that they should not carry guns. They said they needed them for protection. Life here in an area known as: "World War III" can quickly change a persons perspective.
          I have never carried a gun in my life. Even after threats on my life and being on the scene of shootings, I never felt the need to carry a weapon. For me it's a faith issue - I believe that God put me here. If I'm doing what God has called me to do then nothing will happen to me. My haughty perspective has changed regarding right and wrong. I used to be quick to tell a young man when I thought he was doing something wrong. I try not to do that anymore. I listen and try to understand his perspective. Only after I understand his life and I have a personal relationship with him will I interject my opinion on right and wrong.
          A persons view of right from wrong is based on their culture and life experience. If I grow up in a family that drinks alcoholic beverages very heavily, then I believe that it is right to be able to drink that much. If I live in a safe neighborhood where there is no danger of being assaulted with a deadly weapon, then I think that we don't need guns to protect ourselves. If I grow up in a culture where men treat women like furniture and have multiple wives, then I will have the same attitude where ever I go.
          Mentoring is not an exact science but here is what I would consider an "absolute:" Form a relationship with somebody before you force feed your opinions down their throat. Understand their life as best as you can before demonstrating superiority in your character over theirs. It is not right to shoot somebody. You can take the guns out of their hands by modelling a kind way of life - forgive your enemies. Teach young men how to respect women by doing what you preach. Hypocrisy is one of the biggest wrongs in the world and prevents young minds from learning what's right. A mentors job is to form healthy relationships with healthy boundaries. A condescending "know-it-all" who judges people without attempting to understand somebody is a contributor to more wrongs than rights. Be a good listener with the ears of your heart. Be compassionate and empathetic with a backbone. Speak the truth in love.
          Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com We do school assemblies and conferences.

Molding the Mentor Mind

           

Some young people will take you right to the rocky edge of your emotional cliff. There is always hope on the horizon.

          All of us have had someone walk into a room and our first thought upon seeing them is:

"Oh no! There goes my day!" 

With that thought we have already set our selves up for a negative experience. The atmosphere around us might as well be supercharged with negative molecules that are destructively contagious. Your mind has been molded into a cynical and pessimistic embodiment of hostility. You might as well hang a shingle on your forehead that says: "Hater!"
          There is a better way. You better find a better way or you will not make a very good Mentor. Long term perseverance is the best indicator of a successful mentoring relationship. There will be some young people that you will not be able to mentor because of volatile personality traits. However, in the vast majority of relationships you will find some rocky roads. You obviously do not expect life to be perfect and that applies to your mentoring life. Look into the potential of the person you are mentoring and you may see a different person.
          I'm sure you have heard of the expression "a diamond in the rough."  When you get a glimpse of somebody that has previously caused an unpleasant experience in your life, start looking for diamonds! Your thoughts can be influenced by your perceptions. Your thoughts can control your interactions with people. Your expectations can shape your thoughts. You will smile a lot more if you put this concept into practice. Imagine yourself saying: "Oh boy! Here comes another diamond!"
          Each child you mentor represents a future diamond. It takes time to make a diamond and they are molded through pressure, stress, and hard times. Expect the best when you meet the worst. Mold your mind into gem making motor, you will be a successful and smiling Mentor!

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com We do school assemblies and conferences.
          
 

Heartitudes for Mentors

A Mentor can be a warm heart in the middle of a cold place.

          I hope your day is filled with heart smiles. A Mentor should have a great big heart. Here are some qualities that you would desire in a Mentor's Heart. They will help guide you in your relationships along the mentoring road.

Heartitudes for Mentors

1. Always keep your word.

• Give your word.
• Do your word. 
• Be your word.

2. Keep your engagements.

• Be on time.
• The only reason to cancel is an emergency.
• Keep your appointments, be committed to people.

 3. Be reliable.

• Be dependable
• Build your reputation as somebody who can be counted on.
• Never give up.

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com
We do school assemblies and conferences. We will design a program for your school or organization.   

Mentor Ripples

        

Imagine the ripples made in a city by those in high places.

        If you throw 2 stones into a pond simultaneously, they will both make a splash. If one stone is larger than the other it will produce a larger splash. Imagine the ripples on the surface of the pond spreading out from the point of impact. The ripples from the larger stone will eventually intersect and overwhelm the ripples made by the smaller stone.

          Your words and actions as a Mentor cause ripples in the mind of your Mentoree. Are the ripples of your life positive and constructive or negative and destructive? One negative word or action has the power to annihilate all of the positive impressions that you've made.  You are not expected to be perfect but you must set the bar of expectation for yourself so high that your margin of error is minimal. Your errors must be no bigger than the ripples of the smaller stone that are cancelled by the ripples of your good character.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody. 

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com
We do school assemblies and conferences. We will design a program for your school or organization. 

Attitudes Are More Powerful Than Capabilities

        

Life is full of rocky places, a Mentor provides the sunlight of hope.

          Everyday there are new accomplishments, new dreams attained, records are broken, underdogs become victors and miracles happen. Your attitude as a Mentor matters.

          If you plant seeds of negativity, your growth will be negative. If you focus on being positive, you will become a positive person and influence others in a positive way. You will grow into a Negativitree or a Positivitree.

          As a Mentor, these words should become indelibly etched upon your heart:

"Positive words only are spoken, 

negative words make people feel broken."

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody. 

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com
We do school assemblies and conferences. We will design a program for your school or organization. 

A Mentor and a Woodpecker

           
        Woodpeckers spend their days pounding their heads against trees and other hard materials. They have been created with very strong head and neck muscles that can absorb the shock of continuous pounding. As a Mentor you will have days when you feel like you are banging your head against a wall.

          Perseverance is a "must-have" character trait in a Mentor. Patience is a "must-have" character trait in a Mentor. All people communicate differently. All people are capable of making bad decisions. The younger the person you are mentoring, the more likely the possibility of them making bad decisions. Commitment is another "must-have" character trait. Woodpeckers will make a larger hole to get at a larger meal. They don't give up easily.

          Abandonment and rejection are deep rooted wounds that affect almost everybody at some point in life. An abandoned woodpecker nest can be filled by other birds. A wounded young person will try to fill their emptiness in other ways that can be destructive like sex, drugs or alcohol.You may be trying to help somebody and they might be rejecting your efforts. It's like banging your head against a wall. Keep trying, go the extra mile. Most likely the person rejecting you is unknowingly trying to protect their heart from more pain. Be prepared to not give up when mentoring gets hard.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody. 

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com
We do school assemblies and conferences. We will design a program for your school or organization.

 

Effects that Cause More Causes

        

       As part of their education, we teach young people about the principle of "Cause and Effect." A simple explanation of that principle would be: "The cause is why the effect or event happened." If I drop an egg on concrete and the egg breaks, the cause is the dropping and the effect is the breaking. A good mentor isn't satisfied with just teaching principles. Your goal is to be a mentor who teaches how to remove causes that cause negative effects.

          I was talking to a Chiropractor yesterday who is writing a book on common sense in health care. His name is Dr. Michael S. Diehm and he removed the effect of back pain for my wife before there was a cause. This will require a little deep thinking on your part so please be patient with me. My wife was not experiencing any back pain but she went for some wellness care anyway. It's kind of like checking the oil in your car; your car will run without the proper amount of oil but it will eventually break down. My wife walked out feeling better knowing that she was in good shape. She was infused with confidence and that contributes to a positive life attitude.

          While Dr. Mike was contributing to the well being of my wife, he discussed some of the ideas in his book. He described some health care procedures that initially appear beneficial. I'm going to describe what I heard and it may not reflect entirely his viewpoints. Many medical tests reveal abnormalities and illnesses that we were not aware of. Some folks may have walked into a doctor's office thinking they were healthy and walked out believing otherwise. Treatment may be necessary and may also cause side effects that lead to more illness. When someone is given news that they have a disease, the mental state generally becomes regressively negative.  If the thought patterns become increasingly negative, the immune system can break down causing the illness to exacerbate. Hypochondriacs have been known to think themselves into an early grave. Their imaginations create diseases that eventually manifest themselves in the body and cause death. Deadly imagination is the cause and death is the effect.

          Dr. Mike told me about an old book called: "Magic of Believing" by Claude Bristol. I bought it for my Nook this morning. Here is something that I copied from the Forward written by the Editor, Dr. Robert C. Worstell:

"The idea that your beliefs can take power over the apparent universe we live in is an old one. Jesus spoke of it, as did Aristotle."

Another old aphorism taken from Proverbs 23:7 states: "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." Somehow we have taken our belief system and corroded our creativity with the effect of negativity. Instead of focusing and protecting the positive, we go looking for the negative. I am not jumping on a soapbox and preaching against preventive medicine. I am simply saying:

"Just believe in the best, because only good things are possible for those who just believe."

          Stealing, killing and destroying are the effects of one main cause - fear. We replicate those causes by feeding fear. Remove the food and fear will die. There are porn shops on many street corners. Porn is readily available on the internet and smartphones - more easily accessible than ever before. Main stream publications like "Sports Illustrated" display nearly naked women on their covers. We used to call that "soft porn." Everywhere you look, sexuality is cheapened and sold in the name of lust and greed. Prisons have more than their fair share of what we call sexual deviants; people who prey on others sexually. Why do we keep spreading the cause of porn if we don't like the effect of sexual predators? It's time to reexamine cause and effect. Which of our actions are causing more effects? How can we remove the root cause and destroy it before it becomes a killer effect?

Thanks Dr. Mike for fanning the flames inside me. I have watched many lives destroyed because we don't remove the causes. Young people join gangs because we haven't reached them with an opportunity to know what love is. We build more prisons to deal with the effect of lovelessness. Prison populations are ever expanding with a combination of new prisoners and returning prisoners. The rate of recidivism is a statistic that measures the effect of our inability to remove the cause. I will keep on believing that all children are gifted. I will keep on believing in them even after they are in jail. I believe in believing!


FYI - If you are looking for an excellent, wisdom filled Chiropractor, you can find Dr. Mike at:

Diehm Chiropractic & Wellness
500 W. Ray Rd
Chandler, AZ 85225
Phone: (480) 491-9699

 http://www.drmikewellness.com/

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody. 

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. 
If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com

Better

"Whatever you do, 
do it better 
than the last time 
you did it."

The Mentortoise and the Hare

          A good Mentor does not measure intelligence by the speed at which a child learns. In one of Aesop's Fables called: "The Tortoise and the Hare," a foot race is won by a runner who is perceived to be the slower of the two. Children learn at different speeds, good Teachers and Mentors adjust their teaching styles to the speed of their students.


          In the Fable, arrogance and over-confidence on the part of the hare plays a part in losing the race. Children need to learn not to be over-confident in their strengths as well as learning not to be "under-confident" in their weaknesses.  Balance, respect, confidence, commitment and perseverance are Common Core Character Traits. Slow and steady creates a greater learning space.


Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
 We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. 
If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:
 716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com