WHEN A MENTOR IS STARVED

         

"Climbing the mountains of life is done one character building step at a time."

     Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. Discipline and teaching are synonyms that will become wisdom when they applied. Mentoring children over a long period of time will reveal the character flaws of both you and your mentoree. That might might shock you to think that you might have a character flaw.

          Children learn at different speeds and mature at different ages. A simple concept for you might be like a rocket science equation for them. Your patience will be tested as you try and grow your mentoring relationship. Let me describe the garden where conflict is most likely to grow. Let's use the word: "STARVED" as the acronym for our garden, The following conditions can cause conflict; you need to examine your reactions to each condition before you react in an adverse manner.

S - Starved

• You might be hungry and this will affect your body and your mind. Hungry people tend to get grumpy.
• Are either you or your mentoree starved for attention? A child will do almost anything to get some attention. Don't overreact to attention getting ploys.

T - Tired

• People who are emotionally drained need a rest. Children need to be told to take a break. 
• Many adults continue working while they are in the midst of burn-out.

A - Angry

• Anger can be generational in nature, especially in families of absentee dad's.
• Children get angry when they feel you don't really care about them.

R - Revenge

• A child may disrespect authority because the authority figures in his life have let him down.
• One bad teacher can cause all teachers to be painted with the same brush in the mind of a child.

V - Vegetate

• Some children are passive in relationships because they don't feel cared for.
• If you don't have energy to continue as a mentor then have the courage to let go.

E - Ego

• Too much ego can lead to arrogant selfishness. You are not even close to perfect.
• Children have to outgrow their sense of entitlement and this is agonizingly slow.

D - Depressed

• Life is filled with ups and downs. An adult should be able to recognize the cause.
• Children often do not know why they are sad, they end up just getting mad.

          You will do things that you have to apologize for. A child will learn how to apologize by watching you. The imperfection in you works together with your apology to create a nugget of learning in a child's heart.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 

 mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. 

www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences.      

hungry angry lonly tired