THE NEW PARADIGM of MENTORING

Mentoring in a classroom or in the wilderness is a life changing event.

Mentor Force

A bridge between children and the community.

The new paradigm of mentoring is cooperation based and ever evolving to meet the needs of an increasingly expanding education community. Traditionally, mentoring has been accepted as a developmental relationship between an older, experienced person and a younger person who is lacking life experience. In this new cooperation based paradigm shift, mentors have stepped into the role as a team member with teachers.

The increased expectations placed on teachers through higher learning standards have diminished the teacher's ability to adequately cover life skills. By partnering with a ClassroomMentor who reinforces the regular core curriculums as well as introducing life skills, the students will be better prepared academically and socially.

Different Types of Mentoring Programs.

Definitions

LGM - Large Group Mentoring (Assemblies that are connected to other ongoing mentoring programs.)

CRM - Classroom Mentoring (In school during regular class time.)

SGM - Small Group Mentoring (After school or in the community.)

IM - Individual Mentoring or one on one mentoring.

There are different types of Mentoring Programs. Large Group Mentoring is done through assembly programs that are related to other ongoing character education efforts within the school. A good way to jumpstart any life skills program is through an assembly that generates interest, understanding and enthusiasm. A good assembly leader will introduce the benefits of students respecting each other and their uniqueness.

Classroom Mentoring (CRM) happens generally during the school day. A trained Mentor becomes a Team-Teacher with an Educator from the school. Life skills taught through a Mentoring Curriculum are combined with a Health Class (or any other class.) The Mentor helps to reinforce the Educational Curriculum while combining it with Life Skills instruction.

Another phase of Mentoring is the Small Group Mentoring (SGM.) Examples of SGM would appear in After School Programs, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, youth groups etc. The third phase is an Individual Mentoring relationship (IMR) is a one on one match between individuals. Mentoring is helping schools give their students more opportunities to succeed academically, socially and emotionally.

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 

 mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. 

www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences.      

WHEN A MENTOR IS STARVED

         

"Climbing the mountains of life is done one character building step at a time."

     Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. Discipline and teaching are synonyms that will become wisdom when they applied. Mentoring children over a long period of time will reveal the character flaws of both you and your mentoree. That might might shock you to think that you might have a character flaw.

          Children learn at different speeds and mature at different ages. A simple concept for you might be like a rocket science equation for them. Your patience will be tested as you try and grow your mentoring relationship. Let me describe the garden where conflict is most likely to grow. Let's use the word: "STARVED" as the acronym for our garden, The following conditions can cause conflict; you need to examine your reactions to each condition before you react in an adverse manner.

S - Starved

• You might be hungry and this will affect your body and your mind. Hungry people tend to get grumpy.
• Are either you or your mentoree starved for attention? A child will do almost anything to get some attention. Don't overreact to attention getting ploys.

T - Tired

• People who are emotionally drained need a rest. Children need to be told to take a break. 
• Many adults continue working while they are in the midst of burn-out.

A - Angry

• Anger can be generational in nature, especially in families of absentee dad's.
• Children get angry when they feel you don't really care about them.

R - Revenge

• A child may disrespect authority because the authority figures in his life have let him down.
• One bad teacher can cause all teachers to be painted with the same brush in the mind of a child.

V - Vegetate

• Some children are passive in relationships because they don't feel cared for.
• If you don't have energy to continue as a mentor then have the courage to let go.

E - Ego

• Too much ego can lead to arrogant selfishness. You are not even close to perfect.
• Children have to outgrow their sense of entitlement and this is agonizingly slow.

D - Depressed

• Life is filled with ups and downs. An adult should be able to recognize the cause.
• Children often do not know why they are sad, they end up just getting mad.

          You will do things that you have to apologize for. A child will learn how to apologize by watching you. The imperfection in you works together with your apology to create a nugget of learning in a child's heart.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 

 mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. 

www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences.      

hungry angry lonly tired

MENTORING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF

   

Some folks are nervous on the edge of a cliff.

Some folks are at peace as they see the great beyond.

A Mentor stands on the cliff and sees potential!

          We live in the age of testing. Our education system has been reduced to test taking. If a child fails a test, are they a failure or did they choke under pressure? If they choked, are they a failure or a choke? Many children who fail begin to feel inferior and quit school. Quitting is like jumping off the cliff instead of hanging in there and seeing potential. Does a persons performance under pressure give a true representation of their intelligence, learning or test preparation? What does all this mean for a Mentor?

          Professional athletes have been known to choke under pressure. Until they have "won the big game" they will be known as chokes. If a child repeatedly gets less than satisfactory grades, they will be labelled as a poor or mediocre learner. The Teacher of that child will be viewed professionally through the lens of a child's failure. There are many things that affect test scores. Injustice is something that visits all people indiscriminately. When it happens to a child, the pressure will affect them adversely. Is a Mentor responsible for helping a child get better grades?

ABSOLUTELY! 

          

          The role of a Mentor is similar to the role of a gardener. A better description might be to call the Mentor a "Heart Farmer." The heart of a child is a garden; it grows with plants and weeds amongst rocks and thorns. The neighborhood where a child lives may be bully patch of thorns. A walk home from school may be painful or dangerous. The boy or girl next door may be a gang member attempting to spread the weeds of their illicit business into the life of a child. An absentee dad is a stumbling rock. Your role as a Mentor is to help a child understand that injustice happens to everybody in some degree. 

          Some children seem to suffer more than others. Learning to do your best in all circumstances is a skill that can be taught. Conflict is a normal part of the growth cycle. Learning how to deal with conflict will help a child weather the storms that might cause choking and failure. As a Mentor, here are some key words to study and teach:

1. Commitment - Long term commitment to becoming an overcomer.
2. Perseverance - Know when to persevere and when to move on.
3. Compassion - Go the extra mile when somebody deserves less.
4. Knowledge - Study the heart garden of the child you are mentoring.
5. Prepare - Develop a plan of action that helps a child become an over-comer. 

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 

 mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. 

www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences.      

The Shooter's Saggin' Shorts

The shooters saggin' shorts were duct taped

before he was allowed back into the game.

Duct tape and discipline give young people a better shot in life.

          During the summer months when lethargy and idleness become gateways to risky temptations, several inner city organizations turn up the heat of opportunity. Urban Christian Ministries has been keeping kids busy for over forty years. Block Club Basketball brings young people and their communities together for some good old teamwork and sportsmanship. Lessons are learned, discipline is taught and friendships are made.

          There is a "No Rump Rule" during Block Club Basketball. That means you are not allowed to let your shorts sag down and reveal your rump. Do I need to explain that any further? There are many things in a young person's life that can cause saggin' self respect. Certain customs that have been firmly entrenched in the consciousness of generations of families become acceptable and almost honorable. Going to jail is considered a vacation. A tear drop tattoo is a medal of honor for killing somebody.  The history of saggin' pants revolves around prison inmates who've lost their self respect. Lack of self respect has become an acceptable character trait exhibited by millions of young men who are fatherless. Every man is called to be a father. Every woman is called to be a mother.

          Saggin' pants and the "No Rump Rule" are a result of young men not learning how to be fathers. They haven't learned how to be a father because they haven't had a father. I visited a young man in jail last month. While I was there, he was looking on the prison database to see if his father was in the same jail. He hadn't seen him in years and he was still trying to meet up with his Dad. He's twenty one now and facing over twenty years in jail on Federal charges. When he was fifteen years old, I was driving him to school and he thought he saw his Dad driving by. He said he hadn't seen him in years.

          Self respect is taught through discipline and love. You need to have a relationship with someone before you can speak into their life. Urban Christian Ministries has been speaking discipline and love for over four decades. That's the same amount of time that many of our young people will spend in jail if we don't show them a father's love.

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors, coaches, parents and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 

 mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. 

www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences. 

Ballers Breakfast

MENTOR HABITS

       

Transparency is a draw bridge

to a deeper relationship.

 

          Once upon a time I sat down to make a list of what I thought were my bad habits. When I got to bad habit number nineteen I decided I better stop creating the list and start working on my deficiencies! We all have bad habits. Do you have the courage and self confidence to ask someone about your bad habits?

       

          Transparency is "must have" quality in a mentor. Young people can see right through you. Being a fake and a fraud is one thing but pretending to be perfect is destructively hypocritical. It takes courage and vulnerability to admit weakness. Give up your false sense of security created through the facade of adulthood. It will only impair your ability to form productive relationships. 

          Ask your mentoree to tell you one or two things that they think will improve your character. What do you do that bugs them? Discuss character and give examples of exemplary character. I read a story in a book called "Up From Slavery" by Booker Washington. He told of a slave who had made a contract for his freedom with the man who owned him. He agreed to pay a certain sum of money for his freedom. He signed this contract while he was still a slave and before the end of the Civil War. Once the War was over, all slaves were declared free. The man was no longer a slave and nobody could force him to continue paying for his freedom. He paid anyway. The former slave continued to pay his former owner until the debt was paid. The man said he gave his word and he would honor it. Regardless of what you think about that story, the man had the kind of integrity that all of us should have. The world would be a better place if we all kept our word.

          We all have weaknesses and we all can grow. We can sow the seeds of better personal habits through transparency and vulnerability.

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 or mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences 

ARE YOU A THREAT TO YOUR BOSS?

          Today's mentoring tip is about the relationship that mentors have with their employers. We recognize the fact that folks who are mentors also have a life beyond their mentoring aspirations; they have a job. What relationship building characteristics are most beneficial when you are on the job?

          The most important thing you can ever do is become a threat to your boss. No, I am not telling you to abuse or hurt them! If you are going the extra mile in the function of your responsibilities, it may be possible for you to be recognized as a "go-getter" who is worthy of advancement. Ask yourself some hard questions and see if you fill the bill as a "Boss-threat". The following list of "thinking-points" are designed to give you some thoughts to chew on.

• Loyalty - Are you loyal to incompetency? There are incompetent bosses in the world - be loyal to them. This means that you do not undermine them by talking behind their back. You will not be viewed as an aspiring leader if you use finger-pointing instead of idea creation. Serve your boss, honor your boss and complement your boss - honestly.
• Extra Miles - This is not a synonym for overtime! Do you do more than what's expected of you? You may not feel like your efforts have been recognized but you reap what you sow. That's a guaranteed principle of life. Serving without expectation is like dropping a seed in the ground. Have you ever heard the sound of seed being dropped in the ground? Of course you haven't because there is no sound! The seed is so small and the soil so soft that there is no sound. Don't expect the sound of "thank you" for going the extra mile.
• Put the Company First - This may not be your dream job but it pays your bills. Act as if it is your dream job and life will be easier as long as you are employed there. Be alert for opportunities to help you boss become more successful in his role as a leader.
• Transparency - You may have some initiatives of your own that you are working on. Ask yourself if this is something that your boss should know about. Keeping secrets may give the impression that you are being dishonest or working on a project that has not been approved by your boss.

A good Mentor puts other folks first and serves them as an "Extra-miler!"

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 or mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences