Friday, November 29, 2013

Mentoring is for the Birds!


Good Mentoring has a positive ripple effect.

Birds don't wear goggles or bifocals when they go fishing. Did you ever wonder how a bird in the sky can spot a fish under water? I've never seen a bird with binoculars! Humans and birds see differently for many reasons. What gives birds the ability to see beyond the surface of the water when they are looking for a meal?

Birds have the ability to see in two types of vision called binocular and monocular vision. This means that both eyes can work together to see straight ahead or each eye can see independently of the other. A bird's eye takes up a larger percentage of space on its head than a human eye does. The retina contains different colored drops of oil. Each species has oil that allows it to see effectively for its own individual lifestyle. A sea bird will have more drops of oil which is believed to help it block the glare of the water when searching for food.

Several years ago I was helping to teach a youth group at a local church. One particularly exasperating young man gave us a years worth of stress in about 2 hours. I remarked to one of the other youth leaders that this boy was a lost cause. I said: "Some kids are just never going to get it!" The other leader nodded his head in agreement. We had both just written him off our "beyonder list." We could not see beyond his immaturity - that was very immature of us!

I went home that night thinking that I had a good day as I lay down in bed. All of a sudden a guilt bird started flying around my gut. The voice I heard was almost audible: "Who do you think you are saying that boy will never get it? You got it didn't you?" I began to remember how far I had come in my own life journey. I had given many folks a whole lot of stress while growing beyond my immaturity. I felt guilty and I learned my lesson not to write any child off of my "beyonder list."

Birds can see in cloudy, foggy and murky conditions in large part due to the oil in their retinas. The oil of compassion in a Mentors heart will allow them to see through cloudy immaturity in people. Becoming a Beyonder requires the binocular vision of seeing what's right in front of you and the monocular vision that sees the wider vision of the big picture of possibility.

How's your eyesight? Do you have the ability to see beyond your current situation? My Grandmother always said: "There are better days ahead." My Mom always said: "This too shall pass." They were both Beyonders who believed in brighter days

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Mentoring & Blow Fish

       As children age and advance in the educational hierarchy, we present them with greater degrees of complexity in the learning process. Cognitive development is unique to each person and will dictate their ability to reconcile emotional imbalances. A Mentor/Teacher needs to develop the skills to create a learning environment that is conducive to the emotional storms in a child's life.
  

          Picture a blow fish in your mind. The blow fish or puffer fish inflates itself as a defense mechanism against predators. The inflation causes it's spines to protrude further protecting itself. If a predator does bite the blow fish, it will either choke on the spines or it may receive a lethal amount of poisonous neurotoxins from the fishes body. The fish  represents a child full of stress and anxiety that engulfs almost every aspect of their being. Unless you create space within that child, your efforts to help them develop critical thinking skills may be in vain. A child will protect their heart by lashing out at perceived attempts to force it where it is not ready to go.

          A best practice in Mentoring is the ability to defuse emotional firestorms through compassionate listening. Make space in your teaching style to accommodate the emotional needs in your students. PMM or "Power Moment Mentoring" is simply defined as Mentoring in the power of the current emotional moment where the child exists. They cannot see beyond their current emotional state and neither should you. Help them to release anxiety before you attempt to teach.

Thanks for your time.
 Go do something nice for somebody.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Let Go of Gratitude

          One of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences in life is to see someone succeed after you have given them hope and encouragement. As a Mentor, Teacher, Parent, Friend, Spouse, Employer, Pastor, Counselor, Doctor, Neighbor or even an Enemy, do not expect to receive recognition and gratitude from someone you have helped. Do not take credit for someone's achievement no matter how much you have done for them.

          Success is always a matter of personal choice. You may have been the catalyst of that success but you do not own it. Gratitude will come your way in some form or another. The Law of Reciprocity will guarantee your gratitude receivership. The seed you plant must be free of its connection to you. A farmer lets go of the seed into the ground. You are a Heart Farmer who must let go of the seed of hope and encouragement into the heart of the person whom you are Mentoring.

          For everything there is a season. During the season of basking and glowing, please don't steal the limelight by taking credit for an accomplishment that is truly not yours. The fan in the stands bought a ticket, a beer and cheered the team on but he didn't throw a touchdown pass or kick the winning field goal. The Gold Medal Winner stands alone on the central podium after an Olympic victory. The victor usually gives credit and gratitude to a host of people who made the fulfillment of their dream possible. Somebody is always left out of the "thank you speech." Bask in the feeling of knowing you helped another human being. That's enough, your good deed will be returned upon you in due season.

Thanks for your time.
 Go do something nice for somebody.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Honest Transparency

          Some folks are always trying to impress other folks. A Mentors job is not to impress your Mentee with your worldly wisdom.

"Honest transparency will reveal the fact
 that you are just a person who has 
learned from their mistakes."

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Mentoring Skills - Feeding Needs

          As a Mentor, one of the first steps in building a relationship with a young person is needs identification. You will not be able to meet every need that your Mentee has. Your task is to partner with as many people and organizations to help meet those needs.

          The following list is from Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You may not have to spend time going through the whole list with each person; some people have enough food. The list is just a primer to get your heart thoughts focused on the person you are Mentoring. Please note that all people are individualistic and unique in prioritizing their needs.


As a Mentor, you may have to start at any of the different levels. I have met many children who need food, feel like their lives are threatened, are abused, or feel worthless. Feed the need.

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.






Friday, November 22, 2013

4S + ES = Peace & Strength

          I laughed yesterday as I wrote what some folks would call a mathematical equation, I stood in a college classroom and wrote on the board: "4S + ES = Peace & Strength." When I was at St Francis High School, I struggled with Algebra. My brain couldn't grasp the concept of putting letters and numbers together. Now, here I was doing my own form of Algebra.

Four Seasons + Embracing Struggle = Peace & Strength


Fall, Winter, Spring Summer + Conflict = P&S


Letting go, Pausing, Starting fresh, Celebrating + Go with the flow of life = P&S


Forgive, Meditate, Plan, Praise + Learning from mistakes = P&S


          The seasons of life change and there will be conflict - change does not happen without conflict. A butterfly struggles to be free from its cocoon. A diamond in made in a hot, deep and dark place. A Pearl is made from an irritant in an oyster. A muscle is made stronger by resistance. A broken heart is capable of loving in a more excellent way. Letting go of resentment, learning a lesson, being prepared and smiling are just another synonym for the 4 Seasons. Climbing a mountain and enjoying the view is another way to embrace the struggle.

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.


Thursday, November 21, 2013

GIVE THEM SPACE

          No one can be everything you want them to be. It's not your job to create a clone of your own character in the person you are Mentoring. You are not a potter with a piece of clay.

          You are more of a chef who creates a meal and presents it on a plate for consumption. Do not force feed your personal beliefs into anybody - that causes resentment. A good Mentor presents food with a vision that shows why consumption would be beneficial.

          The best kind of motivation is self motivation. Season the meal that you're offering with encouragement. You cannot feed somebody their own success - they have to achieve it on their own."Success cannot be force fed as a meal." Give them a menu, give them the food and let them to the eating. Provide instruction and then give them space to grow.

Thanks for your time.

 Go do something nice for somebody..

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

YOU are a POTENTIATOR!

Mentor Force TIP of the DAY


You are a Potentiator!


           Every human being has locked within themselves vast storehouses of unlimited potential. Your purpose as a Mentor/Teacher is to provide a fertile ground for self confidence to grow.

           The first step in helping a child grow self confident is examining your own self confidence. You are perfect just as you are because there is nobody like you in the past, present or future. Being perfect is simply doing the best that you are capable of in each task.

           Yes, you will falter at times. Part of being perfect is admitting mistakes and not making them twice. Just believe that you are capable of growing in a more excellent way - everyday. Overcome adversity by envisioning a new season of Spring in the midst of Fall. All things change together for good.

Thanks for your time.

Go do something nice for somebody.