ARE YOU A THREAT TO YOUR BOSS?

          Today's mentoring tip is about the relationship that mentors have with their employers. We recognize the fact that folks who are mentors also have a life beyond their mentoring aspirations; they have a job. What relationship building characteristics are most beneficial when you are on the job?

          The most important thing you can ever do is become a threat to your boss. No, I am not telling you to abuse or hurt them! If you are going the extra mile in the function of your responsibilities, it may be possible for you to be recognized as a "go-getter" who is worthy of advancement. Ask yourself some hard questions and see if you fill the bill as a "Boss-threat". The following list of "thinking-points" are designed to give you some thoughts to chew on.

• Loyalty - Are you loyal to incompetency? There are incompetent bosses in the world - be loyal to them. This means that you do not undermine them by talking behind their back. You will not be viewed as an aspiring leader if you use finger-pointing instead of idea creation. Serve your boss, honor your boss and complement your boss - honestly.
• Extra Miles - This is not a synonym for overtime! Do you do more than what's expected of you? You may not feel like your efforts have been recognized but you reap what you sow. That's a guaranteed principle of life. Serving without expectation is like dropping a seed in the ground. Have you ever heard the sound of seed being dropped in the ground? Of course you haven't because there is no sound! The seed is so small and the soil so soft that there is no sound. Don't expect the sound of "thank you" for going the extra mile.
• Put the Company First - This may not be your dream job but it pays your bills. Act as if it is your dream job and life will be easier as long as you are employed there. Be alert for opportunities to help you boss become more successful in his role as a leader.
• Transparency - You may have some initiatives of your own that you are working on. Ask yourself if this is something that your boss should know about. Keeping secrets may give the impression that you are being dishonest or working on a project that has not been approved by your boss.

A good Mentor puts other folks first and serves them as an "Extra-miler!"

Thanks for your time. 
Go do something nice for somebody.

Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 or mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences 

POVERTY CAN BE AN ADVANTAGE

          There are many of us who spend our lives building relationships with young people in violent and impoverished areas. Learning how to embrace struggle is one of the keys to success. Just for clarity and understanding purposes, my definition of success is simply another word for: "trying." Someone who never gives up regardless of the adversity that one is faced with, is successful.

          Poverty can become a prison. Many poor folks embrace social service programs and church hand-outs as a type of freedom from their misery. Those hand-outs can become the handlebars of a life prison cell. Children in our schools need to be taught the benefits of embracing struggle. If you read our Mentor Force Tips with any regularity, you most likely have read about our teaching curriculum called: "The BDP Theory."

• Butterfly's are created to struggle from their cocoon to freedom. 
• Diamonds are created through hard times and pressure.
• Pearls are created through irritants.

          The life story of Booker T. Washington contained in his book: "Up From Slavery" should be required reading for every human being with a heartbeat. One's circumstances in life need not be a prison of acceptance. Teaching children to "Try, try again" will help instill initiative in their hearts. Here is a passage from Booker's book about success:

 "In later years, I confess that I do not envy the white boy as I once did. I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. Looked at from this standpoint, I almost reach the conclusion that often the Negro boy’s birth and connection with an unpopular race is an advantage, so far as real life is concerned. With few exceptions, the Negro youth must work harder and must perform his task even better than a white youth in order to secure recognition. But out of the hard and unusual struggle through which he is compelled to pass, he gets a strength, a confidence, that one misses whose pathway is comparatively smooth by reason of birth and race." 

Thanks for your time.
Go do something nice for somebody.

 Bob Kuebler

Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  

716-830-8240 or mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com. www.youthwithapurpose.org

We are available for school assemblies and educator conferences

MENTORING for TEACHERS

          Teaching is amongst the noblest of professions. It could be said of a teacher that they are in charge of 100% of the future - our children. Teaching is also one of the most demanding vocations in the world. If you are a teacher reading this, there are several things that I would like to say to you.

"THANK YOU!"
            &
"I APPRECIATE YOU!"

          Building relationships with children is more important than teaching them. Without a relationship, some students will be unreachable. In his book called "EDUCATING FOR CHARACTER" Thomas Lickona uses this phrase to describe the importance of relationship:

"First you reach 'em, then you teach 'em."

          It is not easy in a large classroom to build fruitful personal relationships with all of your students. Do your best to keep a personal file of all of that you have observed about what makes a student happy, motivated, irritated, sad or angry. To do that I suggest the "BDP Principle."

The BDP Principle

B is for Butterfly. What does your student struggle with? What gives your student freedom? What causes his mood to fly with happiness?

D is for Diamond. What is hard for your student? Is math hard? Are Tuesday's hard? (Maybe he spends Monday nights with Dad who is an alcoholic.) Where does your student shine? What is he brilliant at? All students are gifted, they are just gifted in different ways.

P is for Pearl. What irritates your student? Can you help your student turn his irritant into a pearl? What causes stress and how does your student deal with it?

          A teacher is a mentor of the highest order. Mentoring is done in large groups, small groups and individually. Whenever possible, take the time approach a child individually to build a deeper relationship. Maybe once a week you can invite students to sit with you at lunch. They probably would feel important and honored to be considered worthy of your personal time.

Thanks again for all you do Dear Teacher!

Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com We do school assemblies and conferences.

HOW to MENTOR Part Two

We hope your day is filled with heart smiles! In our last post on "How to Start Mentoring - Part One"  we told you about the "UGLY FISH SHARE" or personal interests inventory. We said we would share our UGLY FISH SHARE with you so here it is, enjoy and happy relationship building! 

Here are a few suggestions on how to use the Ugly Fish Share:

• You pick and choose from among the questions, 
• PERSONALIZE IT! 
• One good method of gaining information about somebody is the "Interview Method." Pretend you are a famous Talk Show Host like Bob Letterhead or Opera Winfred and conduct a humorous interview with your new mentoree. You both will smile!
• If you find an ugly fish (topic that really interests your mentoree) GO WITH THE FLOW!
• This is just an "Icebreaker" or "Get-To-Know-You" exercise. Build a relationship before you build rules.

Please contact us with any questions or suggestions: mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com

The Mentor Force UGLY FISH SHARE 

Name

Nickname, AKA, Fake Name or What do you want to be called?

What is your favorite restaurant? 

What was your most embarrassing moment? 

What is your favorite food?


What is your biggest fear? 

Do you have a favorite Bible story? 

If you could meet one person in human history, who would it be? 

If there was one thing you could change about your friends, what would it be?

What makes you feel sad, glad, mad or happy? (pick one!)

Do you have a pet rhinoceros or a dog, cat or fish?

Where would you like to travel?

Have you ever wanted to own a rocket-ship?

Do you have a favorite holiday?

Can we celebrate your birthday today?

Have you ever had blue hair?

What is your dream?

What have you done to make your dream come true?

Do you like school?

If you could be any animal, what would you like to be?

Have you ever been in a food fight?

What do you do when a friend cries?

If you could have a "Do-Over" what would it be?

Do you know what forgiveness is?

Have you ever kissed an ugly fish?

Have you ever been to a funeral?

If you could be any crayon in the box, which one would you be?

What famous person would you like to be?

Can you loan me a million dollars?

If you had a million and you won't give it to me, what would you do with it?

Should people who ride skateboards wear seat-belts?

Are there any dumb questions that you would like to ask me?

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Bob Kuebler
Founder / Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us: 716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com We do school assemblies and conferences.

 

HOW TO DISSOLVE SEGREGATION & THE ALPHABET OF INTEGRATION

          Segregation can be dissolved by integrating opportunities into the minds of children. Education is the greatest integrator and equalizer of humanity. Urge every child you know to become what they dream about. Teach them to view all of their classmates as gifted, talented and equal in their own way. Guide children down the pathways of acceptance and compassion. Mentor children by paving the road that bypasses the exit for self-segregation. Help young people integrate into the eyes of their souls; a vision of unlimited potential contained in every person they meet.

          Counsel children regarding discernment: there will always be folks with hardened hearts who may do them harm. A hardened heart is a hurting person who was the victim of fear. Self-segregation is a synonym for close-mindedness. Self-segregation is the seed that germinates and grows into a segregationist society. Self-segregation is birthed anew in each generation.

          Today in our Mentor Force programs we will be teaching the Alphabet of Integration. As a personal action step that will help dissolve segregation, how many of these words can you put into action?

The ALPHABET of INTEGRATION

Acceptance - Accept somebody as they are without trying to change them.
Benevolent - Go do something nice for somebody.
Connection - Connect with somebody new from a different race or culture.
Direction - Are you content to have somebody follow the direction of your life?
Empathize - Can you walk a mile in another person's shoes?
Forgive - Yourself! Let go of prejudgment based on race or life status.
Generous - Give away a good word to make somebody feel valued.
Harmony - Find a conflict and create peace.
Inspire - Find potential and help somebody take a step to their dream.
Justice - Can you find a law that promotes segregation?
Knowledge - Seek to learn and practice ways to create equal opportunity.
Liberty - Teach someone how they can use education to be freed from poverty.
Movement - Motivate a group of students to become a force for change.
Nurture - Take one step, plant a seed, just smile and say hello.
Overcome - Struggles are meant to help you become stronger and more efficient.
Positive - All things work together for good if we focus on being optimistic.
Quiet - Take time to listen to the heart of another human being.
Relationships - What can you learn from somebody who irritates you?
Serve - Do something nice for somebody without expectation.
Team - Form a group of folks who are unified and diversified.
Understand - Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Virtue - Make a list of your character traits and change your bad habits.
Welfare - Help someone learn about accountability and self sufficiency.
Xenophobia - How can you conquer the fear of people you have never met?
Yield - Surrender a preconceived judgment and take a risk.
Zealous - Be eager and enthusiastic in your efforts to embrace equality for all folks.

Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
Bob Kuebler Founder/Mentor Force

Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us: 716-830-8240 or mentorforcebuffalo@gmail.com We do school assemblies and conferences.

In The Beginning - How To Start Mentoring Part One

This Mentor Force Tip is designed for folks who have already gone through a Mentor Training. Even if you are someone who has not gone through training, you will learn something of value here. This information will guide you into a place where you can make a personal decision about getting involved in mentoring. If you have gone through a training that is given by one of our Relationship Mentors from Mentor Force this will be a refresher course for you.

In any youth organization, part of your vision statement should include a plan for turning mentorees into mentors. Here is the Mentor Force definition of what mentoring is:

"Mentoring is the unfolding of a relationship with a mentoree that becomes a relationship passed on through duplication as the pupil becomes a teacher."
 Bob Kuebler
 Founder/Mentor Force

How do you move your mentorees into the position of being a mentor?

The following guidelines are taken from our training called: "Best-Practices in Mentoring."

1. Use the Ugly Fish Share

   This is simply a Personal Interest Survey where your mentorees can fill out information about their dreams, likes, dislikes and hobbies. A good mentor will study the person they are mentoring to get to know them better. Good conversation starters can be based on the interests of the mentoree. The term "Ugly Fish" refers to a trophy fish that someone might mount on a wall. The ugly fish will announce that they are proud of that fish and most likely would love to tell you the fish story behind it. When people are given a chance to share about something important in their lives they are more likely to open up and start a conversation.
   

   

   This is an ugly fish! http://www.outdoorlife.com/files/imagecache/photo-gallery/photo/1001321579/5_195.jpg

   
   

   • Share the Survey

     Both the mentor and the mentoree should share their ugly fishes or life stories or personal inventory - YOU GIVE IT A NAME! Try to personalize every aspect of your mentoring relationship. We do feel satisfaction when somebody refers to our material as coming from Mentor Force and we do have copyrights - but you can do the same thing we are doing! We will post our "Ugly Fish Share" or the "Personal Interests Inventory" in our next post and you are free to use it. However please personalize it for your mentors and mentorees. For instance, if you are primarily a girls mentoring outfit then make it girly or appealing to girls. Put a quote from a famous lady on your survey like:  
     

     "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." 
     Mother Teresa

     If you are part of a guys program that takes young men into the mountains you might have a quote like:  
     

     "How beautiful upon the mountains
     Are the feet of him who brings good news,
     Who proclaims peace,
     Who brings glad tidings of good things,"
     Isaiah 52-7 (New King James Bible) 

     The point here folks is PERSONALIZE, PERSONALIZE, PERSONALIZE!
     Get Personal! 
     
     
     “No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”
     ― Theodore Roosevelt

     
     Thanks for your time. Go do something nice for somebody.
     Bob Kuebler
     Founder / Mentor Force
     
     Mentor Force is an organization of initiators.
     We help young people who are at risk of leading impoverished and violent lives.
     We teach teachers, mentors and youth leaders how to build healthy relationships that make young people feel valued. Our goal is to ensure that every student has the benefit of being guided by a Mentor. If we can help you reach your potential as a Mentoring organization please contact us:  716-830-8240 or ywapbuffalo@yahoo.com We do school assemblies and conferences.

     Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
     

     Mother Teresa

     
     Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere121373.html#u7IiXq7w7idFXB2g.99
     Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.
     

     Mother Teresa

     
     Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mothertere121373.html#u7IiXq7w7idFXB2g.99